In front of Villa de Oro

In front of Villa de Oro
Originally uploaded by silly_jake.

Day 4

This is the part that is least enjoyable.. leaving Boracay and going back to the real world. We woke up at different times.. I woke up last. Hehehe! I wonder why? *Wink, wink*

On the bus stop in Caticlan.. it is easy to make the observation that Filipinos don’t know how to form a queue. Instead, they push, grab, elbow, and pull themselves to get to the front.. well, those are the f*cking uneducated squatters anyway, not us! But you are going to get a push, a grab, an elbow, or even a punch if try to cut your way in front of one of my friends. *Raise eyebrow while watching squatters wrestle themselves to death getting to the front.*

When seated, I realized that my seat and the seat in front of me are quite dysfunctional. That’s how I met Phil, an American Dive Master, touring his way through the dive sites in the Philippines. When he would lean back on his seat, it goes so far backward that my space is easily halved. However, my seat does the same but to a lesser extent. Well, he kinda got worried about his seat but I reassured him that its OK coz I’m ‘paper thin’ anyway, still lots of space for me. After that, we talked about the places that he has been in the Philippines, and he was asking about how to travel to some of the places that he still planned to visit. Among them were Apo Island just off Dumaguete, Bohol, and Cebu. After a while, I had to sleep my hangover away during the bus ride. And then enter a booming voice from just beside Phil. Marvin Yu Zapanta! Here is the context of the situation: almost everybody on the bus is exhausted from all that activity from Boracay, and they just want to get some rest during the boring bus ride. I don’t think anybody appreciates a voice with a loudness that rivals that of a jet engine when you are trying to sleep. Again, Marvin Yu Zapanta! Most especially for Phil, who was just to his right, getting much of those decibels right in his face. Nor did Lynor and RJ appreciate it, who were just to his left. Again, Marvin Yu Zapanta, alleged English literature teacher, but who couldn’t even f*cking get his English straight. *TAGALUMAPAW AND TIKAL!!!* *Lynor, I think this is the part where you stand up, with eyes glaring down at Marvin, kag nag-paninghawak up to the level of the armpits, and yelled ‘WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?’* And then he even had the audacity to tell Phil that he learned Korean in so-so weeks! *My gosh! The air coming from him!! It was like watching a human typhoon, wind gusts reaching 250 km/hr! Mahangin talaga sa seats namin!!!* Want more hilarious stuff? Here it goes. Phil was asking me if I knew how to dive, well, I told him I don’t know yet but I’d like to in the future. I told him instead that I snorkel and there are great sites in Boracay, Carbin Reef, Bantayan Island.. and I’ve been told Danjugan Island too. Now, he asked the same from Marvin coz Marvin offered to take him around Negros while he was there. So, could Marvin, in fact, help Phil in his quest to find the great diving sites and the natural underwater treasures of the Philippines? *Drum roll please!* And then he told Phil.. he has never snorkeled and he doesn’t even know how to swim. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Reliability to help Phil... 17 out of a potential 100!!

Well, for the rest of the f*cking ride from Caticlan to Jaro, Iloilo, all we heard were his f*cking kayabangan. Except for an intermission, when this girl entered the bus, she looked like she came from a nightclub with flickering lights (People, I know that you know these kinds of bars.. *wink, wink*).. what she was wearing was complete with sequins and stuff. Anyway, it didn’t escape the eyes of Milan, sabay tadyak kay Lynor immediately! Gets guid dayon sang tanan!!! Another intermission from Marvin’s tikal, bus stop to get some food. This one particularly agitated Milan. He came back to the bus and I could see the flames coming out of his eyes and ears while he animatedly told me *The nerve of this restaurant!! They charge more compared to the restaurants in Boracay! And look where they are situated.. in the MIDDLE OF A PALAYAN!! The nerve to charge that much! And they even had scripture lines written in the walls, yet they are ripping us off!*

When we got to Jaro, it was quite a reprieve from Marvin’s kayabangan! Little did we know that it was time for another significant event. During one of the jeepney rides, RJ suddenly turned and stared very sharply at this guy sitting beside her. We didn’t know what happened then. But then RJ told us that the guy was making ‘pasimple touch-touch the boobs and butt’.. maniac pala!! Ang gago niya!! Si RJ, harassed sa jeepney! My goodness, the adventures and misadventures never end.

Let’s cut to the boat terminal.. we were early for a change.. we didn’t have to catch anything while running. So this time, na-stress kami because we weren’t on the run. So picture-picture na lang. And I had time to eat the Andok’s chicken, the only one left who hadn’t eaten lunch coz RJ, Milan, and Lynor had already eaten theirs at the bus stop in Caticlan.. and the chicken and rice were eaten like a sandwich.. maabilidad!!! But off course, before eating, hygiene muna.. no alcohol, no alcogel, so make do with wet wipes.. wipe the hands, then after wiping the hands, wipe the face and neck, and keep the wet wipes, eat the chicken and rice like a sandwich, after eating.. use the wet wipes as tongue brush.. abilidad din yon!! Before boarding, all of us had a collective objective.. to be seated as far away from Marvin as possible.. because we saw him in the boat terminal too. And, by a stroke of luck, he was seated just 2 seats away from us!! Damn! What luck! What luck indeed.. because of the proximity of his seat.. we caught some of his conversations with his friends.. and what a REVELATION! He was getting stressed in the boat!! But why? Because he was no longer seated beside Phil!!! Apparently, Phil had the same objective as us.. to be seated as far away from Marvin as possible.. coz his seat was miles away from Marvin.. MWAHAHAHA!!! Now, things could be pieced together.. all that kayabangan was to possibly impress Phil... Mwahahaha!!! MAN IS A LOGICAL ANIMAL... EVERYTHING IS DONE FOR A REASON!!!

Now, time for us to get crazy! The 4 of us, realizing that Marvin has become a very juicy topic for my blog, labored in very imaginative and creative ways to get a picture of Marvin. Let’s start with taking pictures of the 4 of us.. doesn’t work.. then RJ posed on the pole (para hindi halata!).. as if RJ is the actual subject (btw, while RJ was posing, the guy behind him didn’t know if he’d smile or pasimple no reaction.. we’re not interested in you honey, if you only knew), RJ was just a decoy, a deceipt within a deceiptful motive, let’s move on, now it’s Milan in action.. and VOILA!! Marvin Yu Zapanta! You can almost hear the tikal from his facial expression. Mission accomplished!!

Boat docks in Bacolod.. didn’t I tell you would get a push, a pull, a grab or an elbow from one of my friends if you try to cut yourself in front of one of my friends.. well, this time it was because of loitering while everybody was going out.. the culprit.. Marvin.. the pusher.. RJ!!

Dewey meets us at the dock.. and off we go to get some dinner.. destination Jollibee Take Out. Everybody had straightforward orders, and then my turn, ‘So if I don’t want drinks, I don’t get drinks but I still pay the same amount as the combo with drinks?’.. Lynor was pretty quick to remind me of my meticulousness.. she simply reminded me of my line: “Ano ni ang fresh apple juice? Apple juice sa tetra pack nga gin butang sa baso?”

The end pips!

August naman?